Wednesday 30 November 2011

Manly Man games for Men!

Question: WAR, HURGH, GOOD GOD YA’LL, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
Answer: Driving mutated alien creatures with rifles and grenades off a planet you’ve tried to colonise while curing a disease caused by a parasite which is making said aliens turn into a new batch of even-worse-aliens which want to fight the aliens aswell as yourself and ruin everyones fun.

Also without it, what would the cast of Gears of War do for a living? Seriously look at this guy.

"Just popping down the shops."
It would have to be a job which involves nothing smashable, crushable or word processing as I don't think those big sausage fingers could hit fewer than 4 keys at once.
He could get a job in logistics lifting crates around, but Gears of Warehouse sounds like a rubbish idea for a game.
Shenmue sort of got away with it, but at least Ryo could fit in a forklift

"Which one's Warehouse B? Oh crap I'm gonna get fired."
So next time Edwin Starr starts piping up, just tell him it keeps people like Marcus Fenix in work. Me and Daf finished Gears of War 3 in co-op mode at the weekend. It’s technically not my game, but neither are the games on the list which belong to Cassy, Them’s the rules, if I want to play it (and have access to it), it goes on. So that’s one game added, one game completed, which means my number of uncompleted games hasn’t changed, but the percentage has crept up which I think we can all agree is the best bit of news we’ve had since Wispa’s came back
Pictured: The new measuring stick for goodness of news
Marcus Fenix has never had a Wispa, that’s why he looks so angry all the time.

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